It’s okay to feel disappointment; just don’t let the feeling take you somewhere that’s hard to come back from. As someone who has received that dreaded “thanks but not thanks” email quite often (was unemployed FT for 2 years) I want to share some things that helped me to work past it.
I was inspired to take a break from my usual makeup talk and post this due to recent events. This post is specific to jobs but can be applied to other areas of your life. Also I’m not a professional and do not mean any of my opinions to be a substitute for talking to a professional.
Applying to more jobs.
Simple right? But there’s a few people out there that will complain about not getting any job offers yet they haven’t applied to any new ones. This also includes creating a profile on temp staffing agency websites and changing your status to ‘open to new opportunities’ on LinkedIn. Don’t be afraid to reach out to recruiters you already have a relationship with to see if they have any new opportunities that you may be suited for. They might surprise you with a listing that hasn’t even been posted yet.
Allowing myself to feel my feelings.
No more downplaying or denying feelings in 2020. I acknowledge that I’m feeling some kind of way so that I can get it out. Playing music that will hype me up or calm me down (depending on how I’m feeling at the moment) helps a lot. When I’m feeling sad, I will play hype music. If I’m feeling angry, then I’ll play something calming like Celine Dion or Sade. Learn how to practice self-care to calm yourself. Once that’s out the way…
Don’t take the denial personal.
It’s hard to hear but unless you and the hiring manager have a negative relationship, it’s not personal. For all you know they could’ve offered the job to someone who had a cheaper rate than you. Plus if they’re coming off negatively, that says a lot more about them than it does you.
Your reaction to hearing the news will tell you how you really felt about the situation.
You really wanted it or you didn’t. You’ll either be motivated to do what you need to get the opportunity in the future and ask for feedback or move on to the next without stressing. I was unemployed for almost 2 years and 95% of the jobs I applied for I didn’t really want. I only wanted the paycheck. There was no passion or real interest behind applying for the jobs beyond getting paid. Maybe that came off in the interviews, and in that case I wouldn’t have hired me either.
Get a notebook or a journal and start writing down what you want.
What is your dream job exactly? Are you in an corporate environment, working from home every day, or just doing your own thing day to day? Do you have a flexible schedule? Do you have your own office? Are you the manager? Write down what your day looks like while you’re doing this job. Do you want your manager/director to be hands on or leave you alone? Are you selling anything? Do you have an assistant or direct reports? Forget the job title and focus on the duties. Write it all down no matter how silly it may seem at first. This is your life and you are the only one responsible for how it goes from here on out. You can sit here and dwell in the disappointment or you can write out a plan to get what you want.
Write affirmations based on what you just wrote using the following definitive statements: I am, I have, I manifest, I transform, I create, I make, I attract.
Go back to what you wrote from the above tip and begin all your sentences using the following definitive statements: I am, I have, I manifest, I transform, I create, I make, I attract. Writing statements such as ‘I will,’ ‘I wish,’ or ‘I want’ reinforces that you don’t have it and ensures that you won’t get it. Don’t get caught up in the hype of saying your affirmations out loud everyday. That tells God/Universe that you don’t have what you’re asking for yet and you’re not allowing it to happen. Here are some affirmations to get you started.
You have to be in harmony with yourself.
That means think it, visualize it, say it, feel it, and act on it. Mind, body, and spirit. Be aware of your energy. You can also give off desperation in an interview which can cause you not to be chosen. If you’re overly confident when you interview, it may read as cocky. Practice your pitch/interview with a trusted friend to see how you come off to others and improve from there.
Remain open and patient.
Earlier I mentioned not getting hung up on the title of your dream job. An opportunity may come along and have all the responsibilities that you wrote down but the title may be different from what you thought it would be. It’s not gonna happen overnight but you need to be receptive so that it has a way to come to you.
What tips do you have that will help to ease the feeling of disappointment? In what healthy ways have you coped when you didn’t get the opportunity you wanted? Let’s talk about it below.